It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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