Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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