I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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