I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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