Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
