my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
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