I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
