Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
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