Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
