he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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