My sheets look like a crime scene.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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