Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
