i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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