He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
