She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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