What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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