Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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