so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
