that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
