We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
