i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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