Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
