I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
