i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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