This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
