Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
