i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
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He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
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Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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