I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
