PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
