I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
