We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
