I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
