At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
