we have pet lesbian snakes
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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