Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
