Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
