Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
