So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
