Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
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