How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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