I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
