JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
