we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
