The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
