just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
then he tried to convert me to islam
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
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