Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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