shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
