In the future we'll all be gay
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Did I show you my penis last night?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
