just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
