Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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