Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
