just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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