it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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