At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
