I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
