this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
