watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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