my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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