last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
What a dumb baby whore.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
