is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
