Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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